Just show me the money.

I’ve done a lot of work so far behind the scenes to get this project up an running, and I’ve had a lot of help.  Friends, my lawyer (h/t to Sam at Felicity O’Malley’s) the builders at Lockwood have all been great.  The bank, however, has been … interesting.  here’s a typical exchange with a mortgage lender at Kiwibank.  The background is, the banker is unsure if I need to sign the final contract before I can go back to the bank to get approval for the mortgage.  I’m playing it cautious, and making sure every step I take is OK.

Me: Just checking to see if you need a signed contract as well as a signed quote before we can go ahead with the decision from the bank to fund my project.

Banker: Not at this stage .

Me: Does that mean I don’t have to have it signed at this stage, or you’re not sure if I have to have it signed at this stage?

Banker: Don’t sign it until I get you an approval

Do I dare ask how long that might take?  Last time I did, on the phone, the answer was “ooh, well next week is a short week”.  Is it impossible to give a days/weeks/months answer?  Apparently so. This kind of communication is far from limited to one staff member.  Another mortgage lender and I have become quite frustrated with each other, as I look for clarity, and he is congenitally unable to provide it.

I don’t know if my standards are just really really high after working for years doing IT support (ie, describing really complicated things to people in ways that they can get an understanding of what they need to know for their circumstances) or this is just bad luck.  He was silly enough to kvetch about me behind my back to my lawyer, who replied that there were plenty of mortgage brokers wanting to take my business.  That, apparently, quietened him down.

I will say though that the lenders are very responsive, they do get back to you quickly.  If they took a few minutes to think about what they were saying, they might only have to write half the number of emails…

What I’d like is a flow chart.  What documents are required at what point. I have a feeling that getting final plans drawn up, consenting and building will be a breeze compared to talking to the bank. Why am I staying with Kiwibank?  because I believe in Kiwibank.  if it had been a normal high street bank, I would have had absolutely no hesitation in going through a broker.

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