And this too, did pass.

I’m skeptical about things metaphysical, but I have a small, sneaking thought that I’m not entirely in charge.  Sometimes I can just leave things to work themselves out, and they do.  Mostly they get sorted by friends, lovers, colleagues and strangers, but sorted out they become.  The once caveat is I have to be honest about the problem in the first place.  I’m not talking about running away (though I’m plenty guilty of that).  I’m talking about seeing a problem, and simply not worrying about it (or trying to let it go).

Its something I tell beginners in Tech Support (why the hell am I still in Tech Support?).  Problems simply resolve themselves sometimes.  Something sits and stews for weeks, and you worry and it festers and then you call and find, “oh, that. Yes, that seems to have sorted itself”.  It happens.

So who sorts it out?  Who makes grief lessen, and joy return?  Who opens doors while others close?  Maybe anthropomorphizing too far is a mistake, but I’m grateful to the process.  I love the way my life tends towards joy rather than depression these days.  It makes a nice change.  Thanks to whoever/whatever was responsible for that.

Why don’t I just take credit for it, say it was Me?  That Me sorted it?  Me, the master of the universe?  Well, that’s because of experience: I did try take control for a long time, and it just made me anxious.  Anxiety led to fear – frightened that everything was out of control.  Fear led to anger, and though I may not seem it, I’m one of the angriest people you’ll ever meet.  Grr.

Well, nothing is really under control, and I’m letting it, bit by bit, go.  Handing It Over.  To… well, the process that deals with such things.  I’m thinking of giving that process a name: I might just call it the Dude, and as we all know, the Dude abides.

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