I’bve been avoiding writing this one.Â I’ve tried to live by the idea, “if you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything at all”.Â Though this story has its upsides, its easy to think I’m falling to bits, or life’s just shit.Â Its not, but it has been hard recently.
To date: in the last 18 months my mother has died, I’ve been admitted to hospital twice, once for a bladder infection, once for an operation on my collarbone, I’ve broken both that (the collarbone) and a bone in my wrist, meaning I’ve been in a cast or sling for about 20 weeks in all, I’ve had a battle with an idiot supervisor over my dissertation and got a bad mark for a lot of good work, and now, the work on my collarbone has come adrift and I might need another operation.Â Oh, and I’m having a neurologist look at why I keep smelling smoke all the time, when there is none there.
As a result I’ve dropped my classes, and I’m just taking life easy, which has turned out to be remarkably pleasant (when some of my less patient clients have let me be).
I’ve spent a lot of time off work, which was good, becasue I’ve come back really relaxed, and a lot more grateful for the job.Â Maria has been sterling in supporting me: she’s just always been there when I’ve been puking and mewling or simply just broken.
But that’s just it.Â I’ve been broken.Â And I’m just getting a bit down on it.Â Its just awful to be in pain so much: even though I’m pretty OK with pain, I’d rather not have it.
Right.Â That’s that out of the system.Â I’d much rather write about bikes and stuff, so this post is out of the way so I can get on with it!